Rory wants to watch the football
A few nights ago his roger iron rusted[НВ1] .
He'd gone down the battle cruiser [НВ2] to watch the football.
No one's watching the custard[НВ3] , so he switches the channel.
A fat geezer[НВ4] 's north[НВ5] opens. He wanders up and turns the Liza[НВ6] over.
"Fuck off and watch it somewhere else."
He knows claret [НВ7] is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the game.
Calm as a coma, picks up the fire extinguisher, walks past the jam rolls [НВ8] ready for action and plonks it outside the entrance.
He orders an aristotle[НВ9] of the most ping-pong [НВ10] tiddly[НВ11] in the nuclear sub [НВ12] and switches back to his footer[НВ13] .
"That's fucking it," says the geezer.
"That's fucking what?" says Rory.
He gobs out a mouthful of booze, covering Fatty.
He flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest [НВ14] and the geezer's lit up like a leaking gas pipe.
Rory, unfazed[НВ15] , turns back to his game.
His team's won, too. Four nil.
[НВ1]an amalgam of "Roger Mellie" - telly and and "Iron Rusted" - busted
[НВ2]Boozer (Pub).
[НВ3]telly (TV)
Custard and Jelly
[НВ4]man
[НВ5]North South is rhyming slang for “mouth”
[НВ6]Telly (TV) Liza Minelli
[НВ7]blood (probably because of its colour)
[НВ8]Arseholes
[НВ9]Bottle
[НВ10]Strong
[НВ11]Tiddlywink = Drink
[НВ12]Pub
[НВ13]футбол
[НВ14]chest
[НВ15]равнодушный, безразличный, безучастный