klausnick/莫罗佐夫·尼科莱/профан (klausnick) wrote,

What kind of friend are you, anyway?

Mark met his old friend Steve and told him that he was in desperate need of five thousand dollars. He begged Steve to loan it to him, but Steve refused.
"I have to remind you, then," said Mark, "of what happened twenty-five years ago when we were in Vietnam together. You were lying wounded in the jungle. I crawled out to you, dodging bullets, threw you over my shoulder, and dragged you back. For this, I got the Medal of Honor. But the important thing was, I saved your life. Now, will you let me borrow the five
thousand dollars?"
"No," said Steve, unimpressed.
"Let's go back to fifteen years ago," said Mark. "I'd like to remind you who introduced you to your wife. Who set you up with her when you were afraid to ask her out? Who gave the
money for your honeymoon, Steve? Me! Now will you let me have the five thousand dollars?"
The response was again, "No."
Still determined, Mark continued. "How about ten years ago," said Mark, "when your daughter was struck by that rare disease and your doctor was desperately trying to find the right
blood to give her a transfusion? Whose was it that finally matched? Your pal Mark. I gave her seven blood transfusions, and it pulled her through. You'll let me have the money, won't
you, Steve?"
"No, I won't," said Steve.
"Think back to five years ago," urged Mark. "Remember when your back was against the wall and you had to have twenty seven thousand dollars or the bank would foreclose on your
company. Who signed the note that guaranteed your loan? Good old Mark! I saved your business for you then, didn't I, Steve? Now you will find it in your heart to loan me the five
thousand dollars!"
Steve still had no problem refusing.
"What kind of friend are you, anyway?" yelled Mark, exasperated. "Twenty-five years ago I saved your life, fifteen years ago I introduced you to your wife, ten years ago I saved your
daughter's life, five years ago I saved your business. In light of that, I can't imagine why in the world you won't loan me the five thousand dollars!"
"What have you done for me lately?" asked Steve.
—Walter Schwimmer
Tags: анекдот

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