|4-я Царств 8
2 Kings 8 Russian Synodal Text
Ничто так не раздражает врача, как срочный вызов к больному, когда при прибытии выясняется, что с ним ничего страшного не случилось.
За известным английским врачом послал один джентльмен с небольшой царапиной. Врач немедленно отправил своего слугу к себе домой за неким пластырем, приказав поспешить.
Пациент побледнел и вопросил: «О Господи! Надеюсь, большой опасности нет?»
Врач ответил: «Ещё какая! Если слуга не побежит со скоростью скаковой лошади, есть опасность, что ранка заживёт быстрее, чем он вернётся.»
The aliens and the humans.
Little alien Ellen and her mother.
Ellen. Mother, what are these little mites of humans made for? They are too small to be eaten, and not large enough to work.
Mother. They may as well ask what you are good for, Ellen, for you are small, and not fit to be eaten, and, as they earn their living, they must work harder than you do.
E. Yes, but you know what I mean, mother. I shall grow up one of these days, but they will never be larger than my fist.
M. I hope you will live to grow up, though this is by no means certain. But I do not wish to evade your question. Though the little humans may be of no use to us, we may conclude that they are not useless, for the Creator has a design in every thing he makes. If the humans are too small to serve as food for an alien, they are large enough to feed many creatures smaller than aliens.
E. Then other creatures eat humans, mother? O yes, I might know they do, for I saw my favorite goblin eating a little human that he or her mother had caught.
M. Do not the little humans seem to be happy?
E. O yes, mother. I never saw such happy little things; they are chirping, or flying, or playing, all the time.
M. Then, perhaps, they were made to be happy. Do you like to see the little things?
E. O yes, mother, I dearly like to see them.
M. Then, perhaps, they were also made to contribute to your happiness. Did I see you giving them some crumbs of bread just now?
E. Yes, mother, the snow covers the ground, and I feared the little things would starve for want of food.
M. And you helped them out of pity, did you?
E. Yes, I did, mother. Was it wrong to do so?
M. O no, my dear child, and I presume it was one of the most important uses of their creation to give us an opportunity to cultivate our benevolent affections. You would not hurt the little creatures, would you, Ellen?
E. O, no, mother, I would do any thing to help them.
M. There is nothing greater than charity, and any creature, however small, that moves us to kindness, affection, benevolence, or love, which are only other names for charity, is created for a noble purpose, and the little humans have not been made in vain, if they have excited tender feelings in my little daughter's bosom.
E. (To the humans) O you dear little humans, how could I think you were good for nothing because you were not fit to eat ? I’ll go and get some more bread for you this minute, and, if you would like to live with me this winter, I'll board you for nothing, and do your washing gratis just as I do my little goblin's.