July 14th, 2013

Rory wants to watch the football

Rory wants to watch the football

A few nights ago his roger iron rusted[НВ1] .

He'd gone down the battle cruiser [НВ2] to watch the football.

No one's watching the custard[НВ3] , so he switches the channel.

A fat geezer[НВ4] 's north[НВ5] opens. He wanders up and turns the Liza[НВ6] over.

"Fuck off and watch it somewhere else."

He knows claret [НВ7] is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the game.

Calm as a coma, picks up the fire extinguisher, walks past the jam rolls [НВ8] ready for action and plonks it outside the entrance.

He orders an aristotle[НВ9] of the most ping-pong [НВ10] tiddly[НВ11] in the nuclear sub [НВ12] and switches back to his footer[НВ13] .

"That's fucking it," says the geezer.

"That's fucking what?" says Rory.

He gobs out a mouthful of booze, covering Fatty.

He flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest [НВ14] and the geezer's lit up like a leaking gas pipe.

Rory, unfazed[НВ15] , turns back to his game.

His team's won, too. Four nil.


[НВ1]an amalgam of "Roger Mellie" - telly and and "Iron Rusted" - busted

[НВ2]Boozer (Pub).

[НВ3]telly (TV)

Custard and Jelly

[НВ5]North South is rhyming slang for “mouth”

[НВ6]Telly (TV) Liza Minelli

[НВ7]blood (probably because of its colour)

[НВ8]Arseholes

[НВ9]Bottle

[НВ10]Strong   

[НВ11]Tiddlywink = Drink

[НВ13]футбол

[НВ15]равнодушный, безразличный, безучастный